The Courage To Be the Type of Person Who…
I’ve talked to three types of people in the last week.
- People who are so courageous that they are willing to see and admit their Truth, and move through it, making the changes they need to make to have a happy, peaceful, inspiring, thriving business.
- People who have no awareness of their Truth – they can’t and don’t want to see what’s blocking them and continue to look for a magic pill so that they don’t have to change anything. They are frustrated and blame circumstances (some times in the form of people) for their results.
- People who have gotten an insight about what has been blocking them, and they know what they need to change to make their business work, but they are not willing. The unknown of what will happen when they act is more than they are willing to explore.
It’s the third type that can break a person’s heart.
I was there for many years, with many intuitive signals about what I was meant to be doing with my life, but I didn’t know how to interpret them or how to act on them. So I would dream up a business, and instead of acting on it, I’d find another job.
I had some very clear hints about what was calling to my heart, but I was afraid, and I had no clear model for how to put them into action, so I did what felt safe and ‘normal.’
And the more I made decisions that kept me safe, the more my heart broke inside. I made decisions that distracted me, like planning a wedding, getting married, and focusing on building my spouse’s business (which was branded beautifully, by the way).
Then luckily death and divorce hit me in one fell swoop. I say luckily because while I miss my stepfather all the time, his death got my attention. And while everything that felt solid was changing for me, I saw my opportunity to start making decisions on my own, just for me, for the first time.
And I started way back then to become the type of person who could lead this business.
See, we are bombarded by messages about how business can be easy, and how we can make a ‘quantum leap’ and make tons of money while we sleep.
Now all of these things are true. I’ve experienced greater ease than I imagined. The work I actually do is easy. But being the type of person who can lead a business is not. I’ve created quantum leaps in revenue – I doubled every year for the first 4 years. And I’ve gotten orders in my inbox overnight.
But a quantum leap doesn’t happen just because we decide. It happens because we decide, and then become the type of person who…
- Has complete faith that the quantum leap is a done deal and begins to act as if. That means if you want to have a 6 or 7 figure business, you invest as that type of business NOW. From the beginning. This takes courage.
- Is willing to be the type of person who can operate at that new level. When your business goes in the direction you truly desire, you will come face to face with all kinds of ways in which you were not yet prepared for that outcome. If you are resistant to, or afraid to change, you will shy away from the desire for this very reason. Your subconscious knows what’s coming, and it’s terrified.
Courage and the Subconscious Mind
Your subconscious mind will give you every reason not to do the thing that you desire. It has spent a lifetime keeping you safe from risk, in it’s own, highly customized way. It will seem like a good idea to:
- Wait until the kids are older
- Stay with the spouse who is completely unsupportive
- Plan a wedding
- Take the kids to Disneyland
- Take this good-enough job
- Keep working with the business partner you don’t agree with because it’s safer than going out on your own
- Try to save the money to pay down the debt first (making an income you can hardly live on)
And the reasons will REALLY make sense. And it takes nothing but courage to make the decision to move your business forward. But once you give yourself an experience on the other side of the fear, that belief no longer has power over you.
That is what makes an Aligned Entrepreneur so special.
Their faith in their own reason for being on the planet is stronger than the fear of the unknown. It is the source of their courage, and I stand in admiration. Are you willing to be this type of person?
This week alone I’ve seen this type of person:
- Enjoy the fun and ease that has come on the other side of making a courageous decision to close her business that was out of alignment. In two weeks she’s attracted every opportunity she could imagine supporting her new direction!
- Navigate the storms around her with grace and ease and a new awareness of her role. When people in her life got sick, experienced tragedy, and brought both real and imagined drama her way, she was able to be a safe and gracious space for them without taking on their pain. Giving generously while staying focused on her business.
- Experience loss of life, both giving herself the space to experience the full range of her emotions without shutting them down, and also allowing her higher self to see the gifts in the loss at the same time. It will fuel her business in a whole new way, and she’s not putting any pressure on herself about that.
- Take bold action in her marketing, get a result, and look honestly at what worked and what didn’t, quickly adjusting the plan without taking anything personally. The adjustment required her to give up a pattern that worked for her in her former life, but wasn’t fulfilling her now.
- Travel to be where the ideal audience is, even though traveling isn’t the most natural thing for her, and the investment involved was scary. She allowed it to be a fun adventure that grows both her and her audience! (And had her highest grossing month ever!)
- Communicate boldly and authentically to a skeptical spouse, with a firm commitment to finding place where they could each hear and honor each other’s perspective, and finding the space from which they could each have what they really want.
So here’s what I’ve found. It is not easy to be this type of person. But when you learn to think about yourself, the mission you’re called to in your business, and the people around you from a higher consciousness energy of Truth, it actually becomes very simple. The stuff that stops the average person no longer stops you. And you know deep down you’re not meant to be average. You’re an Aligned Entrepreneur at heart. That’s what brought you here to these words.
Do you have the courage to be the type of person who can lead the business you’re meant to lead?
If you’re not sure and you’d like the committed space to find out, OR if you are sure and you know you’re called to step into the higher level of your business you couldn’t even imagine at the beginning (like me with my amazing team), I invite you to join me at Align It Live. It’s a special week to register this week. Here is the link: http://alignitlive.com
We’ve got two special bonuses, and you can bring a friend for free. It’s my honor to hold a courageous space for the bigger you to show up.
Confusion is a Choice
It’s an absolutely gorgeous setting. The sun is getting low in the sky but it’s still warm and lovely out. Yet I’m filled with angst.
I’ve been faced with an exercise, one of those that makes you think and explore. And is supposed to have a big ‘ah-ha’ at the end. You know the ones… the ones I love.
Yet the ah-ha hasn’t come. And I’ve been thinking and exploring for longer than I’d like. But I want the right answer.
After giving a longing glance toward the beach just outside, I ask for help. The mentor who created this exercise will clearly know the answer, right? So we discuss it. And the more we discuss, the answer seems to get further away.
I start to get frustrated. I consider melting down for a moment, maybe I’ll get clarity after a good cry. But I don’t. I’ve written 3 potential ‘answers’ to the self-discovery question… but which one will make the biggest difference? Which one will have made it all worth it?
Then I get it.
And I laugh at myself inside. We humans are funny.
Here I am, in this fabulous setting. The sun. The warm breeze. The love of my life. And rather than being present to love and passion and peace, I’m in agony. Over which of 3 phrases on a piece of paper I should choose that will ultimately change my life.
Truth washes over me.
Nothing will change my life but me.
And besides, I like my life.
This is simply a choice.
Make the choice and make it right.
Focusing on what’s right about my decisions has, after all, been my secret weapon to growing my business beyond expectations. (It’s a level 5 of the 7 levels of energy I teach about).
Yet in that moment, in paradise, I forgot that confusion is a choice. And so is clarity. And unless we choose to personally define our world, it will never be clear.
The ability to choose is pretty cool, right?
I’ve also spent years getting here, to a place where I understand that I create my own reality – always.
And yet I still in that moment, when it felt like a lot was at stake, forgot.
I see this happen all the time.
If you’re reading my articles then you’re the type of person who believes in living in alignment with your Truth, and putting your best, most passionate, foot forward to the world. Which is awesome.
And yet that very commitment might keep you from the clarity you seek.
See, confusion is a choice. And so is clarity. And it always comes from within. We can CERTAINLY get guidance from outside of ourselves – that type of guidance has helped me to see my blind spots time and again. But when our desire to be our best has us looking outside of ourselves to have someone else tell us who that is, we will never really get clear. And at some level we know that.
Because we’re actually committed to confusion, and we will only let go of that commitment when we choose to no longer allow confusion to be our safety net.
See, when we’re confused we get big payoffs.
- We don’t have to risk putting our true message into the world to be judged
- We can procrastinate and avoid, and look like we’re trying. Maybe even striving for perfection
- We can confuse other people around us so at least we’re hiding out together
- We can keep people from supporting us who would love to make our lives easier if they could just figure out how
- We can continue to pretend not to know the things our intuition actually sees clearly. They are probably painful
- And we don’t have to be truly happy. Because most of us don’t trust that joy will last so it’s easier to just stay busy trying to figure out what might make us joyful someday.
We don’t mean to… we come by this honestly. The 5-year-old version of us created these walls, and they feel so familiar that we don’t want to take them down.
So let me just remind you one more time. Confusion is a choice. You can stop making it any time, and define your world with your own will, and then operate as if it’s the best damn world out there. And watch it line up with your choice.
If you suspect you may be committed to confusion, lets get on the phone and do a cost/payoff analysis so your rational mind will follow your intuition and let go of it once and for all. CLICK HERE to grab a session.
Urgency, advocacy, and biz model limits – it’s not what you think!
Each week I send a short note or thought to my private clients via email. I base it in something I’m noticing or thinking about that doesn’t quite make it to a broad-based article, but feels timely for them.
This week I wrote them this:
What is urgency? I notice the ebbs and flows in business, and how you are each balancing your personal life goals with your business goals and deciding each day where to focus your energy.
There are times in business when you need to pull out all the stops to bring in clients, launch the program, launch the website, book the speaking gigs, make the money to fund a marketing activity, etc. And it’s all out urgency. Then there are times in which you focus in on consistency, sustainability, and peaceful progression.
One is not good or bad, right or wrong. The empowering part is choosing. When you are aware of right where you are and what your focus is, you can bring joy to total urgency, and joy to peaceful allowing. The struggle comes when you think you should be one way and you’re not lining up with it.
I spoke with a VIP Day client who is waiting to get all her ducks in a row to start spreading the word about her new business. For her, the urgency needed isn’t in bringing in the clients, or even in lining up the ducks. The urgency is in creating the experience of being someone who lets her ducks be scattered and serves clients anyway. The struggle was in not being AWARE of her true limiting pattern.
The next client I spoke with was feeling a huge urgency to make sales. So much so that she was actually willing to look at the Truth about why she wasn’t making them. She wasn’t reaching out to anyone because she had no habit and therefore no experience of reaching out. Why? Because creating a ROUTINE of making calls felt so confining that she would do anything to avoid it. It wasn’t even the calls – though that was scary, we’d worked through it. It was the ROUTINE that felt like death as she was fighting against a former belief that routine would make her boring, trapped, and a whole host of other negative consequences she’d experienced earlier in life. Lack of AWARENESS was her limit.
I subtitled this article “It’s not what you think.” Because whether you need to change your sense of urgency, your brand advocacy, or your business model, it’s the AWARENESS of the real problem, or lack thereof, that is holding you back.
We hosted a brunch at the house this weekend. There were quite a few people and there was lots of buzz about a new Netflix Series, “Orange is the New Black.” I thought this must be something everyone knew about but me, like housewives and Kardashians. Turns out, there was one person at the party who had fallen in love with the show, and had told so many people in one hour that I had the perception I was the one who was in the dark. One advocate created buzz.
With advocacy for your own business, brand, or offerings, the same can be true. See, we assumed it was a great marketing campaign, hitting everyone with 7 strategic touchpoints, that created the buzz, but it was one person in our crowd. You don’t have to execute every possible marketing approach to create buzz about what you’re doing – you need to design so that your message so perfectly hits home with a few people that they can’t NOT tell everyone. I’m seeing advocates pop up for my BELIEVE YOURSELF CHALLENGE, and most people are even telling a few friends. I didn’t engineer that. Advocacy just happens with great insight into the who, what, and why of your offer.
People want buzz, or advocacy, for their offerings, of course. Trying to use all possible marketing touchpoints to create buzz for something that has no alignment doesn’t work. True advocacy stems from natural alignment. Start with your AWARENESS of who your offering really speaks to and why, and arm those people with the Truth that will spread like wildfire.
BIZ MODEL LIMITS
My favorite awareness gap to help a client identify is one that has to do with a limitation in their business model. Why? Because they are the easiest to fix. And often we aren’t AWARE when they sneak up on us, so we are solving different problems instead!
What’s is a business model limit? If you want to make $100K per year, you can effectively serve 2 new clients a month, and you are charging $2500 per client, you have a business model limit. Your 24 clients can only yield you $60K. You’ve got to raise your rates, or become more efficient so you can serve more clients in order to hit your goal.
I recently faced a business model limit. I’ve built a steady, solid business doing things a certain way. Offering specific entry-level programs to lead people to my work and bringing them on as 1-on-1 clients in my Profit Acceleration Circle (PAC). For me to have the life I want, serve my clients the way I want, and deliver the effectiveness and value I want, I recognized I needed to cap my PAC program. I knew this at some level and had been thinking about it without great urgency. And I hadn’t solved my business model limit. One week I had a handful of conversations with potential clients, and most of them did not lead to a clear, decisive conclusion of buying or saying no to my programs. This was an unusual problem for me, and was out of alignment with my commitment.
When I looked deeper I saw the answer. I’d hit my business model limit, and I hadn’t adapted to my new reality. Not because there wasn’t a solution, or that I wasn’t willing to do what it takes, but because I wasn’t AWARE of the real limit. [I've got two very specific gateways now to access time with me, and I love it!]
These are three vastly different examples, but a common source – the root issue is generally not what you think. When you create AWARENESS of the root issue, you’ll be delighted in your own solutions!
What Do You Have to Prove, Really?
In last week’s article, “Is the Universe Tricking You?” we talked about the Cycle of Proving and how it shows up to have you question and doubt your decisions. The Universe is never tricking you, it’s simply revealing to you some aspect of your subconscious mind that wants you to stay safe, and small. Safe and small in a way that honors the patterns it smartly created when you were just a kid and needed them. It’s time to let them go.
As a reminder, the “V” in our PROVING acronym stands for “Validate Fear.” When you Peek your big vision, Remove the resistance, and Open your mouth to take action, something will happen to validate your own subconscious fear of actually having the vision be real. It is GUARANTEED.
Where you go from there simply has to do with how practiced you are at moving through the fear. As you make firm decisions without looking back, and put them into irreversible action, the fear will no longer grab you. When you let the fear win, your box becomes smaller.
So here are your two options.
When the old Cycle of Proving wins, it looks like this.
I – Ignore Inner Knowing. You let the thing that happens make you question and doubt your own inner knowing about your vision. For me, early on this could happen when someone simply gave me a sideways glance as I shared my vision. I was so programmed to look for external approval, I’d give up my dream at the drop of a hat.
N – Next Best Thing. Next we settle. We say, well, maybe I wanted an experiential event with 8 people who pay me well, but maybe I’ll just do a workshop for $97 and see how that goes. And that becomes the new norm we talk ourselves into.
G – Give Up. The next best thing is never going to be as fulfilling as honoring your calling, so you’ll eventually give up. Because what fun is it to live an almost life?
Please, Break the Cycle!
Here is your new option:
I – Interrupt the Pattern. When you recognize that your external circumstance is simply a reflection of your internal thought process that are ready to be healed, you can actively interrupt the pattern. This may look like ignoring what everybody else says, not asking for advice, investing in yourself when you normally wouldn’t, getting on stage even when it scares you.
N – New Experience. The pattern gets broken when you give yourself a new experience. The new experience is the only way your subconscious will learn that new patterns are actually safe. You cannot think your way into the new thing feeling safe. It will feel scary and all levels of analysis will not change that. But the new experience will blow up your assumptions in an instant. For me the biggest new experiences in my journey have been the times when I’ve made decisions without a full on analysis and pro/con list, but rather just trusted my own inner knowing and gone for it.
Will-feel-like-death. That’s when you’re fully alive.
G – Greater Vision. The result of breaking the pattern? You’ll actually see a BIGGER vision for yourself. Once you know yourself as someone who can do things differently, and become the person who is willing to honor it, you will get greater messages about what’s possible for you. You are only seeing the tip of the iceberg right now, I am certain. When you become the person who can handle seeing more, you’ll see more faster than you can imagine.
What now? Go out and break the cycle!
Want support? Join my new free program here: http://believeyourselfchallenge.com
See you Monday!
Is the Universe Tricking You?
I got an email in my inbox as I settled in to write an article. It was from a client who had made a decision to make a change in an area of her life that was distracting her from her business. She’d made a plan, and then learned something that made her plan seem harder.
She said, “I think Universe is trying to trick me into wanting to postpone.”
Now the next line was, “I’m not going to.” Phew.
So the Universe isn’t tricking you. I can get how it can seem that way at times.
It’s actually your subconscious mind that’s tricking you! Just as bad, right?
Your subconscious mind is programmed to keep you safe, and until now safe looked like, well, whatever your life looks like. But safe and business don’t mix. The business of your dreams that is calling to you most likely lies outside of your current default programming (aka comfort zone). So how does it work?
The Cycle of Proving Begins
The cycle of proving describes what happens in your business, and gives you two options for how to respond (you can learn more at www.CycleofProving.com).
P – Peek your big vision. This is what happened to all of us that got us into this business in the first place! You see something possible. Maybe it’s a new structure for your team, or new model for how you work with clients. You get a glimpse.
R – Remove resistance. Generally your world is not completely set up to do the big vision – if it were, you’d be doing it, right? So in the second step you clear the decks, either in your life or in your mindset, to make the new thing feel possible.
O – Open your mouth. Here you start to tell people. Or maybe you just practice telling yourself. This stage could also look like taking an action in alignment with your goal, like making a deposit on a business-building activity, or showing up in a new environment.
V – Validate your fear. THIS IS WHERE THE RUBBER MEETS THE ROAD. At this point, something will happen to validate your fear. There is no doubt. It will happen. Period. It could be a sideways look from an acquaintance, or a ‘no’ that disrupts your plans, but it WILL HAPPEN.
This is the subconscious mind reflecting back to you its current level of awareness. Whatever you are concerned about or afraid about, your default energy state, will show up right after you move toward your goal. Period. When you know this, you will be ready, and move forward anyway.
From here, you’ve got two options on how to proceed. Yup, two. I’ll cover that in next week’s article. (The I-N-G is waiting!)
For now, if you look, you’ll be able to see the form in which your fear shows itself to you. You’ll see your own theme (Making people happy over yourself? Not risking looking stupid? Money fear?). Watch what happens this week and isolate your pattern. It’s the key to keeping the Universe from tricking you!
The Universe loves you and wants what’s best for you more than you want it for yourself… until next week!